Time Heals Everything?
by caitlinx25
Summary: Edward left, but Bella isn't angry, or heartbroken anymore. But she does have a secret, from him at least, and he might be hiding something himself. First story, please read
1. Prologue

Prologue

Do you remember those little things that your mother, or your aunt or your grandmother, or even your father used to say when you were upset? Those things like "It will be gone before your married," or "Everything looks better in the morning"?

Little things you never really believed. Even my personal favorite, "time heals everything." The second you hear these things you immediately think that they aren't true. You will still have a scar when you are married, or that test your worried about will be that much closer in the morning, and time will only make it worse.

You may be wondering what this has to do with my story, well I was a victim of the worst kind of hurt. Heartbreak, heartbreak beyond what any person should have to live through. I was in love. That amazing happily ever after love that brightens up any room your in. I lost it, and not by choice. It was his decision. He left for some reasons I still don't understand, and I believe that I don't want to understand.

The sad truth I know is that those little things your told are true. I am a perfect example of the hated "time heals everything." My name is Isabella Swan, and at almost 21 years old, I am a perfect example of time healing everything.

I loved, I most certainly lost, and I am still breathing.

**A/N Hi everyone, thanks for reading this pathetic beginning. This is my first story, and I just got this idea yesterday, so if your interested review and I'll continue. I love any type of constructive critisim, and I would love someone to bounce ideas off of too. I'm new to writing on here, so I don't really know how it works yet, but I have a good idea of where I'm going with this, and it will get better, I promise.**

**-Caitlin**


	2. Chapter 1

I should probably elaborate on the heartbreak I mentioned earlier. When I was seventeen, I met Edward Cullen, a vampire, and his vampire family. I fell in love, and had the best summer of my life. And although most have figured it out by now, Edward and I managed to "seal the deal" or whatever you want to call it, that summer. Well, I convinced him, he thought he would hurt me, but he underestimated his control. That's off topic though.

On my 18th birthday, I discovered something supposedly impossible, I was pregnant. I was going to tell Edward that night, but I got a paper cut, his brother Jasper couldn't handle it and tried to attack me. I figured I could wait until things settled down to drop the bomb.

A few days later Edward took me for a walk, and I was going to tell him then, but then he told me he was leaving, his family had left and he didn't love me anymore.

Then he was gone.

I may have been only an 18 year old girl, but I knew him better then that. I didn't believe that he could just stop loving me, it wasn't that easy, it couldn't be. But I was sure he had a good reason for leaving.

So I walked back to my house, and of course started crying. Because even if he did have a good reason for leaving, he still left me. I was alone, pregnant, and 18. But I still loved him, so I made excuses for why he left. I was quieter then usual, hoping Alice would see me being pregnant and tell him, but still trying to keep my life going, because I knew it couldn't all end now, I had another life to take care of, and I was sure Edward wanted me to be happy.

I went back to Angela and Ben, Angela became my best friend, and she understood about the baby and why I let Edward go. After another month or two I started to show, and Charlie was furious. Not so much at me as at Edward and my current situation.

But I lied for Edward. I said that he didn't want to leave, but he had no choice, and we cut it off because it would have been too hard. I didn't want to hold him back, or make his moving even more difficult, so I didn't tell him about the pregnancy.

Charlie sent me to Renee very soon after, saying that she could take care of me better then he could. Renee took me to the doctor, and to my surprise, I was having twins, a boy and a girl. Renee was wonderful while I was picking out names and such, she told me to take the year off so I wouldn't stress myself out. I was scared, I was having two babies with a vampire for a father, why was I still normal?

I tried pushing those thoughts aside and concentrating on becoming a mother. I decided to name my baby boy Emmett Anthony Swan. Emmett, because even though I had lost my big brother, I hoped that maybe someone else could get a big brother Emmett. Anthony, because I wanted to make sure he had something of his fathers.

My baby girl would be Jesse Alice Swan, Jesse because it was as close as I could get to Jasper without it being Jessica, and I had loved Jasper like a brother, and never blamed him for my birthday. Alice is an obvious one, she was the best friend I ever had.

I went back to Forks for the end of my pregnancy with Renee because I wanted to watch Angela graduate. A few weeks before I was walking around my room trying to get ready to go to Angela's house (which had become increasingly difficult, I was already clumsy and now couldn't see my feet.) when the unthinkable happened…

**A/N This probably isn't going where you think it is. That was my first cliffy, was it any good? Please let me know what you think, I'm really trying. And sorry about any mix ups while I was posting this, I got confused and took it down twice.  
**

**-Caitlin**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I forgot- I do not own Twilight, or these characters, except Jesse and Emmett Anthony.**

I tripped on a loose floorboard and fell, going into early labor. Charlie and Renee rushed me to the hospital but it was too late, my little baby girl's heart stopped beating only hours after she had been born, and she most certainly was not a vampire.

Emmett was fine, but he cried with me non stop for the first week, almost as if he was mourning his sister. The day I went home I ripped the floorboard out of the floor and only cried harder, finding Edward's CD and my pictures and the plane tickets. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, burying my daughter while holding my son; and it was all without their father there, or even aware they existed.

Right after that I went straight to Flordia, Forks had become a horrible reminder of the family I should have had. Although some unknown reason had taken the Cullens from me, I still can not see any good reason why my innocent baby girl was taken.

That was definitely the low point of my life. It was even worse then Edward leaving. The only thing that kept me going was Emmett.

I wondered why both of us were human, but could never allow myself to be on that path for too long. I was often afraid that someday I would wake up to find my beautiful baby boy with a silent heart and bright red eyes. Or maybe that it was a delayed reaction, and I would endure the three long days at some random point in time and wake up only to drain my own son because of some monstrous and uncontrollable thirst.

If I had time to sleep, I would have had the kind of nightmares that you wake up from crying and screaming, sick to your stomach with fear and agony.

I tried to repress these thoughts, and concentrate on Emmett. I liked to call him Ean (pronounced like Ian), a mix between his first and middle name. He was just as beautiful as his father, even with his traits from my more ordinary appearance. His baby hair was wavy and bronze, I could tell it would be like Edwards, and he had the most beautiful hazel eyes with very distinct flecks of bright green and deep brown in them.

He was of course, very pale, but not as fragile looking as myself. He had gotten my easy blush, as his little slightly rounded cheeks were always pink and cheerful.

He was a bit of an insomniac, but I was told most babies were, and I hoped he would grow out of it, but thought it was also very possible he would not. His skin took on a healthy glow in the sunlight, and I was very happy to discover that human food left him content, and I wouldn't have to find someone to teach him to "hunt."

I played Edward's lullaby every night for him. I had vowed that he would know about his father, and understand that I was never angry with him for leaving. Well, except right around when Ean and Jesse had been born, then I was furious, at everyone and everything, except my beautiful babies.

I had just one picture of Jesse, it was of me, holding the two of them right after they had been born. I was smiling uncontrollably, and both of them were sleeping angelically. This picture and my picture of Edward smiling on my birthday I hung up in my bedroom, right above Ean's crib. I decided that when he moved into his own room I would make copies to hang in his room. Ean was my pride and joy, he kept me going, all the time. Renee made me return to school to finish out my senior year that September, and that was when my life changed, yet again.

**A/N Sorry about the wait. I'm on the field hockey team at my school, and we went hardcore this week since we have a playoff game on Monday. But I'm sick so I thought I could do some advance writing and make it easier to post on the week days. Please review, I love all kinds.**

**-Caitlin**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight, or these characters, except Jesse, Emmett Anthony and Luke.**

His name was Mason Lucas Andrews. He went by Luke, and good thing too, or I might of not spoken to him, seeing as Mason was Edward's human last name. Also an outcast, he had been held back a year after missing too much school because of an illness, he never gave up on me or my moods. He had many classes with me, and told me the first day that because we were the only two new kids in our senior class, we needed to stick together, especially since he was 19 and my birthday was also quickly approaching.

I worked hard to hide Ean from my class, not wanting to be the subject of any more gossip, but my efforts proved futile. I had stayed home a day to take care of Ean because he was sick, and a girl that was extremely reminiscent of Jessica brought my homework over. True to my earlier stereotype of her, when I answered the door with Ean on my hip she quickly connected the dots when I stuttered about my baby brother excuse. (I really need to work on my lying.) It was probably already the most spoken about subject before I had even finished that homework.

Ignoring the whispers wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, especially since Luke was amazing about it. He asked me the next day if I really had a son, and when I blushed insanely and nodded my head, he just said okay and asked if he could meet him. I initially said no and tried to distance myself from Luke. I didn't want to hurt him and I did not want to get hurt, so when we got partnered on an extremely important project, it seemed any luck I possessed had flown away happily.

We worked in the library and at his house a lot, but one day we had no other choice but at home. My babysitter had cancelled and I was completely stuck. When Luke came over he saw Ean in my living room and looked at him with the kind of excitement that reminded me of Alice.

We did not do a lot of working that day, just mostly playing with Ean. But after I had put him to bed around 7, and walked back to where Luke was, I decided that I could share my story with this trustworthy boy, well I could tell him the basic idea. "Well Luke, I'm sure you're interested in my story, so if you have some time, I can tell you." I told him about (almost) everything from when I moved to Forks to when I re-started high school. I said that Edward snuck into my room at night sometimes because he was always nervous about leaving me alone, and told him exactly what I had told everyone else, that Edward had no choice about leaving and I did not want to hold him back.

Luke did not hit me with a look of pity like most, he understood. He never pushed me into anything, and always knew what I need. And he really loved Ean. He hated the Mets, made a connection with Ean's real name, and immediately decided to call him Dodge, as in his favorite baseball team, the Dodgers, or just D.

Luke was my best friend, and gave me something to look forward to when I had to leave Ean at home. The two of them became my everything. Luke and I gradually but easily fell in love, and although Edward crossed my thoughts every time I looked at Ean, I decided that falling in love is not a one shot deal. I had also forgiven Edward and his family for leaving, I would never see them again, and even if I did, I could be happy and not re-live some age old grudge.

All of senior year I spent with Ean, Luke, and, after Christmas, Ben and Angela too, they had transferred to a college nearby, wanting to experience something completely different from Forks. I was happy, and at peace with everything but Jesse. No one ever brought her up, for fear of watching me have another break down, and they also leaned away with everything that had to do with the Cullens, for fear of the same reaction. I loved that I couldn't sleep much at night, because of Ean's insomnia, but whenever I did sleep it was anything but restful.

My nightmares were filled with pictures of Jesse crying and Edward looking at me with pain filled eyes while they and the rest of my would-be family were pulled away by some unknown force. I always ran and ran, but something always held me back. Then I would turn around to see everything else I held near and dear, Ean, Luke, Angela, Ben, Renee, Phil and Charlie being pulled away from me. As I watched everyone I loved leave, I was left with the horrible realization that I was completely alone, with no escape. I didn't even have a reason why they left to comfort me, it was me all alone in the middle of a small dark clearing that lightly resembled a meadow I had once loved.

That was usually when I work up crying and holding back the screams for fear of waking Ean. I would be physically sick with fear, and sometimes pick up Ean just to convince myself he wasn't leaving. Then I would get up quietly and take a shower, not really knowing what I was so afraid of, the dream usually got fuzzy the moment I stepped under the warm water.

Then I would go back into a shallow and restless sleep until the daylight, and wonderful life that accompanied it, I had come to love so much returned to me. Luke was very good about helping me with Ean, even though I always told him it was fine. He saw the dark circles under my eyes and would play with Ean so I could nap, because with Luke around, that was all it was, a blissfully dreamless sleep.

**A/N Well, I just got a load of views and alerts and a review, so I decided that I would post this right now. Thank you so much for everything so far, I hope this isn't disappointing any of you. I would love some more feedback since I'm still not so sure its very good, but I hope it is. What do you all think of Luke and Ian? Any predictions or ideas as to where this is all going? )**

**-Caitlin**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight, or these characters, except Jesse, Emmett Anthony and Luke.**

Chap 4

At graduation he asked me to marry him, and I said yes. We got married a few weeks later, with only our families and Angela and Ben there. It was small and beautiful, with Ean trying to run around when he could barely stand making our smiles that much wider.

I really had a family now, and even if it was not the family I had planned on, it was just as amazing. We didn't go on a honeymoon, but we did move into an apartment that was not too far away from Renee. We had a great time painting Ean's room while he toddled around his play pen. We let him put some yellow washable paint on his hand and put it on the bottom of his bright green walls, and got it all over ourselves in the process. Renee walked in and laughed so hard that she had to take a picture of our little family sitting on the floor while Ean smacked his hands on the walls.

I put that picture in a three picture frame I found, along with copies of the two pictures from my old room, and those hung above his bed. Luke understood why I needed Ean to see Jesse and Edward, and he was a lot better about it then I deserved.

One day while we were putting Ean to bed for the 5th time that night, Luke was staring at the picture of Edward, and when I looked at him questioningly, he pulled on my hand and led me into our room. "Bella, why did you hang up that picture of Edward, and not one of the pictures of both of you from your album?" I thought about this, and realized that I did have my album from Alice, filled with pictures of Edward, myself and the other Cullens in the apartment. I looked at the floor for a moment, and then sat down on our bed, pulling him down with me. "Well, back when Ean was born, I decided that everyday I wanted him to see Edward as I remember him. That one picture wasn't posed, and that is how I like to think of Edward. At the time it was also a good reminder for me." Luke thought for a moment, then nodded once and got into bed.

That fall Luke and I started college with Angela and Ben. They were our best friends, and double dating was a favorite of ours. We always brought Ean, and as he got older he reminded me more and more of his namesake. But he had inherited a strange mix of my clumsiness and Edward's inhuman grace, Ean stumbled constantly but did it so gracefully it went unnoticied to everyone who wasn't used to him. I spent as much time as possible with Luke, but on certain days, like my 20th birthday, and a seemingly insignificant day halfway through one of the semesters, I went to visit Charlie.

I never brought anyone on my sudden and short visits, and I am pretty sure Charlie saw right through them, but he allowed me to think otherwise. I would visit with Charlie, without entering my old bedroom, and then drive around Forks for a while, then return home. A part of me knew it was silly but I had never managed to be completely over the Cullens. Any small reminder of them now and again was welcome.

Another year came and went, and my life was just as blissful as it had been a long time ago in a tiny town, but now with sunshine instead of rain. Luke was my bestfriend, my husband, and everything I could ever hope for. Ean was my light, and his toddler version of rough housing always brought a smile to my face.

My nightmares came less frequently, as I was spending the majority of nights in Luke's arms, but nevertheless, any night I was without Luke I got heartbreaking glances of the family I once knew and the daughter I still would have gladly traded places with so she could get her fair chance.

Ean's first word was "Da," but he calls Luke "Lu." Great, I know, my little boy's first word is somehow a word that he doesn't relate to anyone. In fact, he was in his crib looking at the picture of Edward when he said it. The first time he said "Ma" my heart stopped I was so proud. His first steps are on a video camera that Luke keeps glued to his hand, catching every significant moment, "to show off when he starts skipping grades and grabbing scholarships." Angela and Ben got married that summer, and they even let my little prince jog down the aisle (yes, two years old and apparently channeling his father's speed since he runs like a six year old.) The rest of the summer passed easily and happily.

Right before my 21st birthday Angela surprised me with passes to a casino in Atlantic City. So after saying goodbye to Ben, and Luke we took off to spend a few days there. Renee came with us and brought Emmett so the boys could all go fishing, or something like that. That very first night Renee said she would stay back with Emmett, and we took advantage of my new legal status, since Angela had been 21 for months. I will not go into much detail, I'm not so sure I would be able to anyway, but it was an average girls night out drinking and gambling.

That was, until Angela went to the bathroom and left me to wander. Suddenly, I caught sight of a very small girl with dark hair sticking out in all directions. Even though a large part of me was screaming that there was no way in hell I was seeing her, the small part of me wishing it was her won, and I suddenly found myself stumbling and running across the room and tackling her to the ground with a fierce hug. She had hesitated for a moment, but then was hugging me just as tightly.

"ALICE!" I screamed, I was very lucky she had been standing outside by herself, otherwise someone would have been questioning us by now. "Bella!! I can't believe it's really you! How did I not--?" I cut her off quickly "Wait, Alice are you here by yourself? Where is Jasper, or Emmett or anyone for that matter?" Alice had pulled us to a bench by then, and was now staring at me intently, studying me.

"Well, Emmett and Edward are inside, and—" I cut her off again "Edward?!" my throat tightened, but not horribly "Oh Alice why didn't he hear your thoughts yet? Wait, didn't you see me finding you? I want to see them, both of them, all of them!" Alice looked at me strangely and also with a bit of frustration, like this was not the response she was expecting from me. "Bella, are you sure? Don't you hate us all for leaving? Bella I am so _so_ sorry about that, I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen Bella! It hurt so much" She was rambling now, in a guilty way that made her excitement settle a bit, and that bothered me.

"Alice please, I don't blame any of you, and I'm not angry. I realized that you all surely had a good reason for leaving, and it was probably something stupid like Edward thinking he was too dangerous, but I accepted that. I'm okay, and it doesn't hurt anymore. But I do have some things you should probably find out about before Edward does, but I miss Emmett so much can we go say hi? Then I am most definitely going to have to go talk to Renee, your going to have to come to the hotel. We both have a lot of explaining to do, and what about—" I wasn't really talking to Alice as much as myself now.

The panic was setting in, how was I going to explain the baby and Luke to them? That was only the first of a million difficult questions. Alice stopped me with a reassuring smile and said "I think, that if we want any time alone we will have to wait to see Emmett and Edward. What is it you want to tell me? We could leave now, I told the boys that I was calling Jasper and probably going home, they will believe me." "Alright, well let me go find Angela and we can go back to the hotel."

Alice looked at me one more time, with a loaded look full of emotions that all paled in comparison to the obvious excitement and joy she had at seeing me again. "Please just make sure that Edward and Emmett don't see you. Find Angela and wait out here for me."

**A/N I'm horrible, I know. That's why this one is longer. School just keeps getting ahead of me, and basketball started, ergo my life is over. I never have any time to write, but I'll try harder, I promise. I'm not really used to dialogue yet, how did I do? Please review and make my day? -Caitlin**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 5

We walked in separately, and I quickly explained to Angela that I had found Alice. I was reminded why I loved Angela so much when she told me that she understood how much I needed to see and explain everything to the Cullens, and also said that she would stay the night in Renee's room and leave me with Alice and Ean to catch up.

When we met Alice outside she seemed even more excited if that was possible. She gave Angela a quick hug and we continued to the hotel. Angela went in and got Renee and they continued down the hall to their room, but not before Renee gave me a "you will explain this later" look that made me feel like I a little kid again.

Alice and I stopped in the front room and sat down on the couch. She looked at me curiously and it occurred to me that she could probably smell Ean. "Well, I should probably start." I said quietly, and continued to tell Alice that I was pregnant when they left.

"Pregnant?! But Bella how are you—" I was cutting her off a lot tonight, "Alice please let me finish, it will be much easier, and I admit there is a lot I can't explain either." She looked so touched when I explained about the twins and picking out their names, and she quickly pulled me to her when I started crying while explaining about tripping that horrible day in Forks.

Her face was unreadable as she listened to the rest of my story. I only left out a few things, like my nightmares and how I had felt when Edward had left, because I was trying to get my story out. "And then Angela brought me here for my birthday, and I found you."

"Oh Bella, I can't even, I'm so sorry about Jesse, and I'm so happy that your alright. I know he is probably sleeping, but can I at least look at Ean? I just hunted this morning, too." I laughed, "Alice, I trust you completely don't worry." I grabbed her hand and led her to the edge of his crib, and Alice, if she could have, would have started crying she already loved him so much.

Looking at him I realized yet again what a beautiful toddler he really was, the perfect mix of Edward and I. _Oh no,_ there was a thought that I had not yet entertained, Edward. I may not have seen him in three years, but I remember a few things about him very vividly, his protectiveness, his unwarranted self-hatred, and his temper.

I grabbed Alice's hand and brought her back out into the small living room, sitting on the couch. "Alice, I—do you—do they..?" I bit my lip as I tried to phrase my next words the way I wanted them, while keeping my sudden emotion in check. A

lice looked back at me puzzled and laughed a hard uncharacteristic laugh; that took away from the brightness seeing Ean and I had put in her eyes. "Edward and Emmett?" I took a deep breath to steady my heartbeat, and nodded, staring at the floor. "Bella," she spoke much softer and like herself now, "they have no idea. In truth, we convinced Edward to get out of the house because no one else can bear to be around him on days like today. You said that on your birthdays, and other days that reminded you of us you went to Forks? Edward sits at his piano, without moving or playing a note, just sitting still and keeping his eyes closed. Today was especially bad, and after Jasper left and Esme started to become to upset Emmett and I brought him out here. We literally had to drag him. He wasn't paying attention and Emmett was busy with him."

I don't know what my face looked like at the end of her statement, but when Alice touched her hand to my cheek I realized that I had started crying. "Bella," she sighed, and I quickly blinked and took yet another deep breath.

"Alice, I can't believe that I drove your family apart." She started to protest,

"No, let me finish. I may not be vampire smart, but I am not stupid. When Edward was talking to me that last day, I didn't believe a word he said. In fact, I forgave him before the words were out of his mouth. I decided that he thought you were all too dangerous for me to be around, or something else equally silly. I thought that since it was his decision he would get over it, or come to his senses. When you never came back I wanted all of you to be as happy as I am now. I wanted to be a memory that you could all talk about fondly in 200 years, and wonder what ever happened to me. I never thought that your perfect family that I loved, and still love, so much would be unraveling because of me. I just—"

That was when a sob broke through, and Alice wouldn't let me continue anymore.

I am not sure how long we sat there, just thinking. I let my thoughts wander and started to wonder what happened next. I had once promised myself that love was not a one shot deal, but what did I do now? Edward was my first love, but he had left, and I had fallen in love with Luke.

Should I stay with my light, my amazing husband, who had been there for me and my son and made my life so much better?

Or do I go back to the angel of a man who dropped everything to keep me safe and was still suffering for it 3 years later?

And what about my son?

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**A/N You are all seriously the coolest kids ever. (or adults? Sorry I call everyone kids, even though everyone is older then me) and lucky for me(and you) my scrimmage got canceled today=) so I had time to write! And I also think that starting with this chapter im going to reply to reviews and try to thank everyone for the alerts and favorites. Its overwhelming and I really adore all of you for it. **

**I'm a little stuck on my next chapter, so if you have votes or ideas, let me know! And constructive criticism is cool too if you know how I can improve. I feel like I keep getting off topic in this chapter, but I don't know.**

**Ok, long note over now. **

**-Caitlin =)**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 6

After I had collected myself and pushed all of the more frightening thoughts from my mind, I glanced at my old best friend. "Alice, why… why didn't you see any of this? Ean and Luke and me?" Her head snapped up, like she hadn't been paying attention, " Bella, I really don't know. Edward told me that we should leave you alone, and that I shouldn't check on you. Even though he is my brother, you are my sister, and I needed to make sure you were okay. Whenever I was away from Edward I would look for you, and for a while I didn't get anything, but almost a year after we left you I started catching blurry glimpses of you, smiling or laughing or studying. But, you were always the only one in focus, nothing around you was ever clear enough to distinguish. It was horribly frustrating, but I told myself that obviously you were happy, and I didn't need anymore then that." That seemed like a good answer to me. "When can I see everyone else? Angela got us passes for the weekend, but I can even explain to Luke that I need to talk to all of you and stay longer. Do you live around here?" "Well, actually we live a few hours away, but I don't know what we should do now. It is really all up to you, since we left you, and we are disrutpting your life. No one else has to know I saw you Bella, I left you years ago, and if you really want me to I can do it again. The way we left was horrible, and the last thing we want is to upset you anymore." I almost smacked her I was so upset.

"Alice, even though my story sounds happy enough, every day I miss all of you. And every day I wonder what it would be like if I found all of you, and Ean met his real dad, and got the family I had dreamed of him getting. Now that I found you I don't want you going ANYWHERE Alice. I honestly do not know what I'm going to do about Edward, but he deserves to know and get the choice to be in Ean's life. So does everyone Alice, because even if you did all leave your family, and family doesn't just go away forever. I would like to get a chance to talk to Edward, alone, very soon. Today would not be too early at all. I don't know what I'm going to say yet, but he needs to know. You can tell everyone else you found me, and they can decide if their interested in hearing the story from me. But Alice, don't you ever suggest something so insane as me telling you to leave forever again. I may have survived it once, but I will not make it a second time."

Throughout my speech, I could feel my eyes getting watery and my voice rising octaves, and Alice's eyes got more and more sad and guilty, and then finally relieved. After squeezing me so hard I almost lost all air supply, Alice said that she would go back to Emmett and Edward, while I sorted out everything else. Then I could meet her at a café down the street after I got some sleep and talked to Luke.

A/N Okay, thank you to everyone who reviewed before last chapter, but now I'm going to start thanking you personally. andys-lovelytwilight, Isabella4ever, patd122, jkmk, SilverAngel1234, and Mishelle20 for the awesome reviews.=)

Freakishly short chapter I know, but I hate changing thoughts in the middle of a chapter and so I can do what I want to next I needed to stop here. And I thought I made Bella ramble a lot, but I want to show that even if she understood why they left, it still hurts. Was it too much? I 3 reviews. =)

-Caitlin


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 7

I know Jasper is the one with the emotion control, but Alice took any feeling of calm I possessed with her. I remember Edward once saying that he wished I would be scared of something, to reassure him. Well he would be plenty reassured if he could see me now. I was going to see him, my Edward. The tricky part was, I wasn't sure if I still wanted him to be my Edward. I missed him, yes, and I wanted him to be a part of Ean's life, and a part of mine. But I didn't know how big a part. And I was already bracing myself for his surely overly dramatic reaction. His self-blame guns were always at the ready, it was ridiculous really. And what about the rest of the family? What if they hated me for getting involved in the first place, or not telling Edward about the babies?

I called over to Renee's room, and before the phone stopped ringing Renee and Angela were at my door. "Isabella Marie Swan Andrews. What in the world is going on??" Renee looked confused, but worried and maybe even a little angry. "Mom, I'm not even sure I know. I saw Alice at the casino, and I think it's time I let all of the Cullens know about Ean. They are his family too, and they have the right to know that. Alice said they live a couple of hours away and I was going to take Ean and go explain everything to them, and take it from there." Angela looked at me understandingly and spoke softly before Renee had time to explode "What are you going to tell Luke?" I shook my head and said, more to my self then anyone else, "I have no idea, but I better figure it out now."

Renee looked dumbstruck. She just gave me a hug, and when I looked at her questioningly, she just said "Your going to need that later Bells. I may have only met him once, but that boy had quite an effect on you. Feelings like that don't just go away sweetheart. Just follow your heart, you will figure this out, I promise. But don't forget about Luke, you know what being hurt feels like." Angela nodded, giving me a knowing smile. "Ang, I am so sorry that this is ruining your birthday present to me, but after I sort all of this out I am taking you back out for a girls weekend. Thank you for being so amazing last night, by the way."

Renee told me to go call Luke, and tell him everything, she and Angela would watch Ean. I walked slowly to the top floor of the hotel, which was completely glass, and stared straight outside while I dialed Luke. I was trying not to think too hard, it would only make it worse. As his phone rang, I realized he was probably out at the lake, and although it wasn't like me, I decided a message would have to do. I could not put this off any longer. "Hi its Luke, I am probably fishing or with my beautiful family (Say hi Ean! "luuuu!" *laughter*), so leave something for me and I will get back to you later." "Hey Luke, its Bella. I hope your having fun with Ben! I ran into Alice Cullen last night, and she invited me back to her house, and I think its finally time that I tell the Cullens and Edward what they've missed. I'm going to be gone with Ean a few extra days, but don't worry, I'll check in. Call me when you get this, and remember I love you. Bye Luke."

It was horrible, that much I knew, but I was selfishly glad to get to postpone that conversation. As wonderful as Luke really was, I doubted he would take to me visiting my almost family too well. I walked back to the room and took a nap, and my only dream was myself sitting in my bedroom. Just watching, waiting for something that I wasn't even aware of.

After waking up, Renee and Angela helped me get Ean together, and then said goodbye. "Please let me know what happens Bella, and don't worry it will be fine." Angela promised. Then they dropped my son and I off at Alice's designated coffee shop. As they drove away Alice came out of nowhere with a very large bag from some expensive baby store. "Alice! Your going to spoil him already?" She looked at me like I had suddenly grown another eye, "Bella he is almost three years old. I am so behind on his wardrobe its sickening." Then she leaned down to my now awake son, and said, "Hi there Ean, my name is Auntie Alice," and tickled his stomach. I noticed she had gloves on, but I also knew that they wouldn't stop her cold. I also noticied that Ean put on one of his million dollar smiles straight off of Edward's face and started giggling while he grabbed her hand. Alice's smile was so big I was sure it would jump off her face. "Does he talk much yet Bella?" "Constantly, but he's been a little quieter the last few days." "Awiss!" Alice looked absolutely thrilled. She then handed him a little stuffed lion, and showed me where her car was parked. "So, how is this going to work?" "Well, I was thinking that I could drop you and Ean at our extra smaller cottage near the current house. Then go home and convince Edward to go hunting with me, and then tell him I left something there." "Wait, do you think when you come back you could sneak Ean out and just walk around with him until I want Edward to meet him? Just a few minutes is all I will need." "Sure Bella, if that's what you want. Then I can leave, but still stay close by in case you need me. And we can take it from there." I tried to steady my shallow breathing, and let my thoughts wander to how I would say everything, and face the man who had haunted my dreams. Before I knew it Alice was dropping me at the cottage, and driving away. I convinced Ean to eat something and then put him down for a nap in his stroller, so Alice could take him quickly. About 20 minutes later Alice sprinted in the back door and grabbed the stroller securely, giving me a kiss on the cheek and a reassuring smile before disappearing. Then the front door flew open, "ALICE. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DO—" It was him. My own personal angel, ten feet in front of me. I gasped and took a step back, "Edward."

A/N Hahahahhahaha, I' m sorry, I really had to. I would like to thank SilverAngel1234, FRK921, and jkmk for my reviews for the pitifully short chapter I posted last week. I hope this makes up for it and everyone will give me some opinions? They really help me out, and my motivation is a little shotty this week, since I got hurt at basketball, and am on crutches for two weeks. I honestly will never stare at anyone or judge people ever again.

Sorry, off topic. But please review and I will also try and get something else up here soon, this next one coming is tricky to write. --Caitlin=)


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 8

He stumbled. Edward, the most graceful man I had ever met, stumbled when he saw me. It was as he caught himself that it hit me just how much I had really affected him.

"Is it—is it really you?" I had always thought it was cheesy when I heard that line in movies and on TV, but after imagining Edward everywhere for a year of my life, and then almost every night in my dreams for another two, they seemed more then appropriate. "Yes, its really me…We have to talk." He nodded slowly and walked over to a chair next to the couch I was sitting on, keeping his distance. "Are you alright?" He asked, concern covering his beautiful face. "Yes, I just need to tell you a lot of things, and I think it would be best if you could promise not to move until I'm done." I said move instead of speak, because I knew it was not beneath him to punch a window in, and he wouldn't hesitate to move to hold me either, and until I decided my feelings, I did not want any physical contact. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, so I couldn't watch emotions flicker across his face. "Edward, the day you left, I was getting ready to tell you that I was pregnant. I never, ever cheated on you, and you are not stupid, so you should know that. I don't know how I managed to conceive, but the point is, I was pregnant, and you needed to know." I lost myself in the story of the last three years, realizing that it was in fact, three years to the day since I had seen him in person. I told him about how I saw right through his lie, and did not want to get in the way of whatever he was so sure about. It took all of the strength I have and more to keep my voice and breathing even while I spoke of my pregnancy, realizing he was not coming back, and finally, our daughter and son. I explained their names, and what happened the day they were born. I told him about my struggle to put the past behind me, and how Ean was my pride and joy. I even told him about Luke. Edward had once said that he wanted me to go out and get married to someone human, someone to grow old with, and I knew that he would hate Luke for loving me, but he would never hate me for loving Luke. He may have left, but I trusted him so much, even now, that by the end of my story Edward knew almost everything that had happened to me, with a few details missing. I took one more deep breath, and opened my eyes to look at Edward.

He had gotten up and moved to the other side of the room at some point while I was talking, and was now sitting on a chair in the corner farthest from me. On his face was a look I can only describe as one of a brutal and very real kind of emotional torture. He was not looking at me, rather staring at the ground, and I could hear his breathing, it was quick and almost labored. Sort of like the way I had been breathing for months after he left me, and every time I had been faced with a cruel dose of reality afterwards. Looking at him, I couldn't find the words to describe how very real his presence had become. This was not a dream, because in my old dreams, Edward was perfect and god-like, smiling crookedly with a look of love I sometimes couldn't understand in his eyes. Comparing that Greek god to this Edward, I realized I wasn't the only one who suffered. He left for my safety, and it cracked me, but I never really gave up, but this man in front of me… the only word I could think of to describe him was broken.

When I thought that word, it all hit me at once. The uncharacteristic sadness looming in Alice's eyes, the way her story weaved perfectly with Edward, my thoughts about how the Cullen's felt about leaving. They had damaged me, but what they got in return was much worse. Their family was in pieces, the best family I ever knew, and it was all because of my leaving—I had broken up the Cullens, but most importantly, my presence had broken my Edward—no it had _shattered_ my Edward, maybe beyond what even I could repair.

**A/N my ride for basketball is going to be here in about 2 minutes, so long a/n and thank yous next chapter. Happy Friday! review and make me happy=)**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 9

"Edward, I—" His name sent a long forgotten tingle down my spine as I was struggling for the words he needed, words that I would never find. After what seemed like enough time for Ean to be graduating highschool, Edward finally looked up, his breathing back to the noiseless rise and fall of his chest I was used to.

"Bella," he whispered my name slowly, cherising the sound, a look that I should know entering his eyes. Quietly, but pleadingly I said "Just please don't say your sorry Edward, there is nothing for me to forgive, but if there was… you were forgiven before you even said goodbye." I repeated what I had said to Alice earlier, because I meant it. "Bella, I thought I was saving you. Leaving for you had always been on my mind, but I was too selfish. One day I snapped, and knew we had to go, but if you had tried to stop me, if you had told me…." He trailed off, taking over my impossible word search.

"I didn't try to stop you because I knew you had to of had a good reason. I knew that being pregnant would only get in the way. And even if it took a while, I am okay now. You leaving didn't save me, it was what, or who you left me with that did it. I'm happy now, Luke and Ean make me happy, and seeing Alice made me feel 17 and carefree again, and being here, with you," I stopped the moment my voice broke. Edward looked at me, and suddenly I knew he had made a decision that we hadn't even discussed yet. He got that old look in his eyes, the one I knew meant that there was no stopping him, that made him look more like my Edward.

"Bella, words are not enough to describe how happy I am to know you are safe, in love and happy. I don't deserve forgiveness for the situation I left you in, but as always, you continue to surprise me. You sought me out, so I will not make this difficult for you. You know how much I love you, but I will not tear your life apart again. However much you want me in your life, whatever role you want me to play, I will do it happily. I made you suffer too long to do anything else. But, do you think I could meet Ean?"

As he spoke, I knew I wanted him in my life, but I did not know how much. I loved Edward, and anyone who didn't know that was just blind, but I loved Luke too. They were different kinds of love, but which one is the one to keep? I also decided that Ean would meet his father, and if I had anything to say about it, Edward would be there for Ean, even if he wasn't there for me.

I nodded to answer his question, "Edward, before you meet him, I want you to see something." I walked over to him slowly, he moved to the floor, so I could sit down next to him, and I got a picture out of my back pocket, "I always carry this with me, as a reminder that even though I can't hold her, she's here."

I handed Edward my worn picture of me in the delivery room, holding Jesse and Ean with a smile on my face, looking completely overwhelmed, but never more excited. He looked at the picture, and then at me, "I should have been there Bella. It was my fault, I never should have put those things in the floor." I leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes and sighing, because this had always been something I had argued with myself about.

"Edward, if that floorboard had been loose when you first left, I would have pulled it up. I stared at every inch of my room for days trying to figure out if you left something, anything for me. I don't know how the floorboard came loose, but it had nothing to do with you." I opened my eyes, and was surprised to see that I couldn't see, I was crying. As I struggled to see Edward through my tears I thought I noticed his face look more rigid, and tense. His hand was also half raised, like he wanted to wipe the tears from my face, or just hold me.

I knew I might regret it later, but I leaned into him hesitantly, and when he put his arms around me I completely lost it. I cried over everything that had bothered me since the day he left. I melted into him like I hadn't in over three years. "It—was—so awful—I didn't—k—know how to—keep going without y—you. She d—didn't deserve th—th—that!" Edward rubbed my back and put his head in my hair like he used to, his breath getting just as forced and jagged as my own. "I never meant for it to turn out like that Bella, I'm so sorry." He whispered to me, struggling for what he wanted to say. I finally got to mourn for my daughter, our daughter, the way I should have so long ago. I knew Edward had only known she existed for a little while, but he was just as heartbroken as I had been for almost two and a half years. Sitting there sobbing together, it put back the first little piece of my Edward.

After I had cried as many tears as I could handle, I worked on slowing my breathing with Edward. Finally, I knew that I had sent Alice away for too long. So, with a very small smile on my face, I said "If you can find Alice, she has Ean." "I'm right here Bella, hi Edward."

Alice walked in the door, and Edward and I both stood up. I walked over and took Ean into my arms, and gave him a big hug. Ean's face lit up, and he giggled, then I turned around, looking at Edward, who hadn't moved. Before I got a chance to speak, Ean started squirming, a smile bigger then I had ever seen was across his rosy cheeks, and started reaching out to Edward. I smiled reassuringly at Edward, who looked a little startled, and a little scared, but awe was the dominant emotion on his face. "It's okay Edward, he knows who you are." I hesitated before continuing, "There's a picture of you in his room, he's known you his entire life."

Slowly, Edward walked forward, and before he put his arms out, he looked at me again, "Are you sure it's okay?" "Edward, he is your son too." At that point, I was almost wrestling Ean to keep him in my arms, so I placed him lightly in Edward's. The little bit of contact still sent familiar sparks up my arms, but I ignored it, filing it away for when I had time to think later on. When Ean wrapped his tiny arms around Edward's neck and pressed his head into Edward's chest, apparently being as unaffected by his marble and freezing body as I was, I finally thought about how my presence must have been tormenting the vampire side of Edward.

I then wondered what Ean would smell like, but after looking at Edward's eyes, the lightest butterscotch I had ever seen, and the contented smile on his face, I knew Ean had never been safer then he was in his father's arms. Ean also picked that moment to show off his new vocabulary, proving he recognized Edward when he giggled and looked right at Edward sighing happily as he said "Da." Edward looked at me in amazement, "I told you, he knows who you are, and he loves you." That was the second piece of my Edward that had returned, just a little more light in his eyes.

After a few minutes of just looking Edward and Ean, Ean shivered a little bit, finally reacting to Edward's body temperature. "Bella, you should take him, he's cold" As Edward started handing me our child, Ean whimpered, and then started crying when Edward let go, nuzzling into me and calming down after a few minutes. Edward looked extremely nervous, so decided to try and break the newly tense look on his face, "Well that's one more thing he inherited from me I suppose." Edward immediately relaxed, and laughed, not too strongly, but more then I had heard in 3 years.

Ean looked completely content, but also completely exhausted, so I asked Edward to help me put him to bed. He did, immediately taking to the role of a father, just like I knew he would. We walked into the living room again, and since I walked in last, I decided to sit next to Edward this time.

He started asking all sorts of questions about Ean, and his crooked smile that I loved so much grew bigger with every answer. I told him about how he took after his namesake with his trouble making, and how he received the perfect mix of Edward's gracefulness and my clumsiness. Alice threw in her own questions every once in a while, and we sat there for I don't know how long just talking our tiny miracle. It was easy to see that Ean had all of us wrapped around his tiny little finger. I decided that I needed to talk to Edward and Alice about a few other things.

"Edward, I told Renee and Luke that I was coming out to see everyone for a few days, and I was wondering if it would be alright with you if we saw everyone else? I really do miss them." "Yes, definitely we should go see everyone. Do they know any of this yet?" Alice answered that for both of us, "No, no one has any idea I found Bella except for you Edward." "Well then I want to leave as soon as possible." I said with finality, because I really did miss them.

It was Edward who spoke next, "Well, its very late, and I'm sure your tired Bella, so why don't we leave first thing in the morning, when its warmer and you've had some sleep—if that's okay of course?" I nodded at him, surprised that he wasn't just dazzling me into getting some sleep. I may not have decided if I wanted to be with him, but that man could still dazzle me into anything if he felt like it. "Well, I am tired, so I'll just get some sleep really quick, and then we can leave." I smiled at Edward, and Alice popped up to give me a hug, and I went into the bedroom I was sharing with Ean for the night. After I was lying in bed, I started to think about everything.

I was beyond ecstatic that I had seen Edward again, after wondering and dreaming and hoping for three years. But, I loved Luke, he had helped illuminate my life even more when I had almost lost my way. Edward was a shooting star, that was for sure, but was he the only one I had ever seen?

Or had he blinded me to the point that I hadn't noticed just how bright Luke was? I definitely wanted both of them in my life, and that was beyond selfish of me, but could I really keep them both?

I didn't want to hurt either of them, but I didn't know what to do. Edward would definitely be sticking around, for Ean if nothing else, but could I really ask him to watch Luke and I, knowing that every second was hurting him more then I even knew?

What would Luke do if I told him I wanted to be with Edward? He was unbelievably understanding, and he knew I never got over Edward, but I doubt even he could be that amazing.

I finally decided that time would tell. Tomorrow, I would get to see the Cullens, all of them. They would meet their grandson, and nephew, and for a few hours, or days, I could pretend everything was okay. I would just take it from there. Yes, that sounded good, just get through the next few days, and let it all play out.

I knew Ean would love the Cullens, and I hoped they would love Ean, too. Edward had gone into father mode as easily as I had hoped, and I could tell he would do anything to keep us both safe. It was then that it occurred to me how odd Edward's reasoning for leaving had been.

I know that Jasper tried to kill me, but was that really all? I wasn't so sure, but decided that was another train of thought, that I could tackle another day. After a day so long, I was so emotionally drained I was probably just imagining my worry. With that, my thoughts drifted off to nothing in particular, and I slipped into sleep.

**Really long A/N- I forgot to laugh about my little ending last chapter, so I'm going to laugh now at hidden meanings in chapters. =DD**

**Anyway, Hi everyone. Here it is, only a day later. I'm going to apologize in advance, I had a really hard week, with a bunch of stupid personal problems and petty high school girls. I'm on crutches, so I feel completely useless, everywhere, especially at basketball. And that ride I was talking about last chapter? They forgot me, and that was just the cherry on top of an awful day. So, I really had a bad few days, and I have not been in a good mood, which is how I actually got the time to crank this out today. I also tend to express my mood in my writing, so if there is any excess misery in this chapter, can you tell me? I was trying really hard to keep it out, but I'm a stupid melodramatic high school girl who lets people get to her this week, so this is probably oozing angst. Especially the part about Jesse.I don't know, I'm to tired to proofread from an objective POV. This also my longest chapter yet, because I don't know when I'll get the time and inspiration to write again, this took a lot out of me. =) So pretty please with sugar on top review. Even if its negative, I could use any and all help. I totally love you guys.=)**

**Special Thanks To: Misti D, Zynthia, guardian music angel, jkmk, SilverAngel1234, FRK921, ****iloveTwilight-kk****, ****XxBANANAxX****, and especially ****Sobriquet Queen**** (because your reviews are the nicest things anyone has ever said about my writing) for Chapter 7, and ****Misti D****, ****SilverAngel1234****, ****XxBANANAxX****, ****RK13****, ****Sobriquet Queen****, ****Musehere****, ****OnlyAtTwilight****, and ****InEdwardCullen'sArms**** for last chapter, Chapter 8. **

**-Caitlin**


	11. Chapter 10!

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 10

I woke up to Ean's crying, but by the time I had sat up, he was already in Edward's arms. Edward looked so peaceful, I couldn't help but sit and stare, watching him rock Ean back to sleep. Edward turned to me, worry crossing his features,

"I hope it's okay I came to get him Bella. I was hoping I would get here before he woke you." I smiled and nodded,

"It's fine Edward, and don't worry about it, I sleep with two ears listening these days." Edward turned away from me again, humming my lullaby softly, and putting Ean back into his bed. I got out of mine then, since I was already awake.

"So when are we going to see everyone else?" Edward walked quietly out of the room, hoping to not wake our son again.

"Alice left to go get the car not too long after you went to sleep, and she should be back soon. The house is about a ten minute run, but even for us it's a half hour drive." Again I nodded, not really knowing what else to say. I looked back at the now closed bedroom door before walking down the stairs,

"Edward, can you read Ean's mind?" Edward thought about it a few seconds, choosing his words, before answering

"Yes, but no. Most of the time I catch little things, more feeling then thought. But when you're holding him, I don't get anything at all, it's like… whatever makes you immune to my power stretches to him when he's touching you. I can tell you though, that he definitely loves you more then anything else, the moment Alice was in range I could hear him thinking about how much he loves you." My favorite crooked smile lit up his face, and then he asked me if I was hungry. He said that Alice had gotten some food for you before she went to get the car, seeing as I had brought food for Ean. He insisted on cooking for me, just like the old days, saying "I wasn't there for a long time Bella, you need to let me try and catch up on helping you."

Even though he claimed he was out of practice, Edward's cooking was as good as ever, and we were sitting at the table laughing and joking when Alice walked in. Her face lit up, like she was thinking that everything was okay now, and from the way Edward glanced at her, I could tell that was exactly what she had just thought. I excused myself, saying I wanted to take a quick shower and change before we left. After I was done Edward said he would load everything into the car, and since I had Ean with me, everything was an awful lot. But Edward managed to have the car all ready, with even a car seat, in under 5 minutes.

I carried Ean downstairs, partially awake now, and was a little startled when I noticed that stupid, shiny, silver Volvo. Yes, the very same one I had almost rammed into on what I remember as "Let's all ask Bella to the Dance, even though she obviously doesn't want to talk to any of us!" day. But, it was also the Volvo that I spent many days in with Edward, and almost where Ean happened, but, Edward being the gentleman he is, told me that even if he was about to endanger my life, just because I spent about a week pouting and trying to dazzle him into it actually, it would not be in the backseat of his car. Ah, chivalry.

I tried to force all of that into the back of my mind as I strapped Ean into the car seat and made myself comfortable beside him. Edward drove, and I was surprised to see that he did not drive as fast as he usually does, and when he caught the odd look I was giving him, he simply said

"I have even more reason to be careful then I used to." The ride was short and uneventful, and I am proud to say that Ean did not fuss for the entire ride, which is saying something, because staying in one spot is his least favorite thing. We only tried to figure out the best way to introduce Ean to the family, and re-introduce me.

It was decided that I could tell my story a final time, and then Edward could bring Ean in. I wanted Edward to have some time with just Ean, so I insisted that he would get to watch and introduce him. When we got what I assumed was within easy running distance of the house, Edward stopped, letting Alice and I out, and upon hearing my quickened heart beat he smiled

"Bella whatever you're worrying about, you don't have too. Today is going to be a good day." I smiled back at him, before kissing Ean's forehead and watching them drive away. Alice tore her eyes away from the car,

"Bella, when I last talked to them I asked Jasper to make sure everyone was in the living room, and it's Carlisle's day off, so this is the last time you have to re-tell your story. They also know that whatever is coming, they need to keep an open mind before they say anything. But don't worry, everyone misses you and will be ecstatic to see you." Her emphasis on everyone reminded me that Rosalie would be in there, and I was not hopeful that her icy glare has changed at all.

"May I?" Alice asked, extending her arms. I nodded my head, she picked me up, and very soon I found myself looking at a big beautiful house worthy of the Cullen family. Alice put me down and together we walked into the house.

Before I had even registered who was in the living room, I was already being spun around in a massive bear hug by my favorite big brother. "BELLA!" Emmett was laughing, while I also heard Esme warning him to be careful. When he put me down I was quickly snatched up by Esme,

"Oh, Bella we missed you so much." She held me at arms length, and looked me up and down with the kind of scrutiny only a mother has, before deeming me as healthy and beautiful as ever, much to my embarrassment. Carlisle gave me a hug next, he seemed relieved, as if he had been worried about me, but also curious to how I had just shown up in their house.

Jasper gave me a small smile, keeping his distance, but I saw the guilt in his eyes, and it really bothered me. I made a note of it to catch Jasper alone for a minute to set him straight about my eighteenth birthday. I also noticed Rosalie sitting across the room, staring firmly at the wall in front of her. I wasn't surprised. After I had been passed around again, Carlisle finally got everyone's attention,

"Bella, I know you must expect this, but how exactly did you meet up with Alice? And what happened after we left? How are you? And I must speak for the entire family when I tell you again how sorry we are and how much we missed you."

I sat down on one of the smaller couches, and Alice softly planted herself next to me, grabbing my hand in support. I told them exactly what I had said to Alice and Edward, and they managed to not interrupt at all, except for some questioning glances, and the occasional gasp.

I added on meeting Alice and Edward at the end, and right as I said "And then Alice and I walked up the stairs to see all of you," Edward walked in.

I stood up, and walking over to Edward and Ean I said "I would like you all to meet someone, this is Ean,"

Edward handed him to me, and I stayed next to him, turning towards the family again, "our son."

**A/N- Musehere has officially requested an EPOV for when he finally saw Bella and met Ean. I have ideas, but I'm very intone to the BPOV, so if I did that it would be a one time thing. Who else is interested in that EPOV? I can try to do it, but I'm not so sure how it would turn out, please let me know what you think I should do.**

**On to my explanation for the updateless week. So I was in a much better mood earlier this week, and I tried writing, but I only had ideas for later on in the story. I had this great burst of inspiration, so I wrote a few hard core parts. And you are only getting this review because at basketball today we had to run across the gym 60 times because my team is incapable of making layups. But that's beside the point, I re-hurt myself, and didn't want to go out, so some of my friends came over, we played our own Twilight scrabble and I decided to sit here for 45 minutes and finish cranking out this chapter, and tweaking some other things. Thoughts and ideas?**

**Special Thanks To: ****LoveIsWhatMatters****, ****Musehere****, ****Misti D****, ****XxBANANAxX****, ****CMGeek****, ****slytherensangel26****, ****Aliceheartless**** , ****SilverAngel1234****, ****covalentblond****, ****dlajmc****, ****Sobriquet Queen****, ****Edward Cullen's Heart****, ****xcrunner76****, ****EdwardCullensREALWife****,****vampirelover13****, ****OnlyAtTwilight****, ****InEdwardCullen'sArms****, and ****RK13**** for last chapters reviews, you guys are the greatest. =))**

**-Caitlin**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 11

I knew they would be shocked, but really, it was like Edward, Ean and I were in a room of statues. I looked at Edward uncertainly, and he smiled reassuringly, letting me know that what they were thinking wasn't terrible.

Esme was the first to recover from the shock of the story. Her face lit up with a smile bigger then I had ever seen, as she stood up and slowly approached Edward, Ean and I.

"Bella, Edward, he is absolutely beautiful. May I… may I hold him?" I nodded, as Edward answered

"Well Mom Bella did tell me yesterday it was about time Ean met his family, especially his grandparents." Esme's smile got even bigger as I handed her Ean. She rocked back and forth, obviously getting the idea he liked movement, as he nuzzled into her neck. I looked over at Emmett, who had started to walk over to meet his nephew,

"I think when he gets older we might have to keep an extra eye on you two, because so far he is living up to your name." After I finished speaking, I noticed Carlisle had gotten up and walked over to Esme and Ean, Alice had moved over to Jasper, and was talking to him quietly, and then I saw that Rosalie had finally moved. She was standing, glaring at me, unnoticed by the rest of the family.

"You should be happy that Jasper took a snap at you. It was one more reason for Edward to decide to make us leave." She had whispered it, but vampire ears do not miss anything, and everyone turned to look at her.

"You should be pretty damn happy we left. You have everything, humanity, a child, and I bet you would still give it all up. You. Don't. Deserve. It." It was like the venom in her system had completely been drained into her words, she looked so livid. She was gone in the next blink of my eye. Emmett gave me an apologetic look before chasing after her, calling her name. Jasper, looking more ashamed then I had ever seen, got up and walked away slowly, with Alice at his side. Esme gave Ean to Edward, and with a loaded look, she and Carlisle separated to go and talk to their surrogate children.

And that all happened before I had even begun to think about Rosalie's words. I sunk to the floor, feeling even more awful after witnessing firsthand the damage I had done to this family. Edward sat down next to me sitting Ean in between his legs before speaking,

"Bella, please don't blame yourself for all of this—"

"Why shouldn't I Edward? Any confidence Jasper had about resisting his temptation is shot because I was clumsy and got a paper cut, Rosalie is miserable because of my very presence, and just by being around and sitting next to you that day in Biology, I have ruined your family." Edward moved so quickly I almost didn't see him, but he moved to kneel in front of me while not moving Ean at all. Edward put both his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes,

"Isabella Swan" he hesitated, "Andrews. Don't you ever say you ruined us. You have no idea how happy you make us," I turned my eyes to the floor at that, because the scene I had just watched seemed anything but happy, "Damn it Bella when will you ever see yourself clearly! I haven't seen Esme or Alice that happy since Forks! Did you miss how everyone brightened up when you walked in the room?"

"Not everyone," I mumbled.

"Please Bella, don't worry about Rosalie, she's always struggled with out immortality. She does care about you, and she knows how happy you make us. She just needs a little while, and then she's going to love Ean. Everyone else already does, believe me." I had lost the will to fight back, and his words were starting to leak in. I looked up into his eyes, and didn't even notice that I was crying until I felt his cool fingers wiping the tears away. I nodded to let him know I was okay, and he moved his hands, helping me up and picking up Ean.

Ean smiled at me, and I knew that there was no way I was staying upset. Edward brought in the rest of our things, since I was staying with them for a few days, and we got out some toys for Ean. He was getting a little jittery, so Edward and I sat on opposite ends of the room and let him run back and forth. Whenever he reached the middle, he would look at both of us, and then decide to keep running straight, giggling the entire time. After a while, Esme walked back into the room, looking weary, but the moment she saw Ean switch courses to run to her she went back to the smile I was accustomed to. She swung him into the air and kissed his cheek, then set him down, tickling his stomach before he ran back to me. I looked over at her,

"I'm sorry about disrupting everyone Esme, if you want I can go stay somewhere else," "No Bella. Thanks for the offer, but I would much rather if you and my grandson stay here. I would like to keep all of my family close to me." With that, she walked over to the door, saying she was going to buy some human things, and I knew from the look on Edward's face it was no use arguing. Before the door was even closed Alice appeared, and smiling hugely at us said,

"Did you honestly expect me to let Esme go shopping without me?" She said something extra to Edward, I could tell from the way she glanced at him, but she left before I could say anything. I picked up Ean and walked over to Edward, sitting down.

"Alice had a vision of you talking to Jasper, she thinks it's a great idea. He's sitting outside now if you want to go speak to him." I smiled "I think I will," and after handing Ean to him, I walked to the door Edward pointed at, and looked around.

I saw Jasper sitting on swing a few yards away, and slowly approached him. He looked up at me, and smiled softly. I pulled a chair over and sat across from him

"Jasper, you know that I don't blame you for anything. I don't blame anyone. I really want you to stop feeling guilty, and trust yourself, because I trust you, and so does everyone else. I want you to meet your nephew, and to be able to be in the same room as Edward or I without hating yourself. It was three years ago Jasper. Even if that isn't very long to you, it is to me, and if you could please just put it behind you, because I promise you I did before the scratches even healed."

"Edward was right. You really do have no sense of self-preservation. But I'll try Bella, just give me some time."

"Okay, but I know that you won't hurt me, and I know that you definitely will not hurt Ean. You care too much." I reached forward and squeezed his hand reassuringly, before standing up and walking back into the house.

I walked in to a scene that definitely would have scared me if I wasn't with a bunch of superhuman vampires. Ean was on Emmett's shoulders, and sliding down a huge silver slide that had not been there 5 minutes ago. Ean was screaming happily, and pulling on Emmett's hair, which he had started doing when he was young and whoever was holding him was walking too slow. I really blame that one on Edward.

We spent the rest of the day with the entire family, just relaxing and getting back to how it used to be, but Ean involved. Rosalie didn't show up, but Jasper did, even if he kept a distance. I was proud of Alice for not buying Ean or I an entire store, and I was also proud of Esme for not making me a buffet for 12.

That night I decided it was time to put Ean to bed, and everyone said they were going to go hunting and leave Edward an I with Ean. I carried him upstairs and Edward showed me where his room was. He had put a bed for me and one for Ean in earlier that day. After Ean fell asleep Edward and I walked back downstairs. We sat on the couch and I turned to face him, "So what does everyone really think? And be honest."

**A/N Thank my mom for this update. She let me go to school late so I could finish an essay, and I finished early so I worked on this for all of you. =)**

**Special Thanks To: Musehere, ****EdwardCullensREALWife****, ****OnlyAtTwilight****, ****CMGeek****, ****SilverAngel1234****, ****Misti D****, ****Sobriquet Queen****, ****edwardxxxbella****, ****The Novel-et****, ****Aliceheartless****(I love long reviews=D),****InEdwardCullen'sArms****, and ****RK13**** I love all of you.=)**

**-Caitlin**


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 12

I guess the look on my face was dead serious, because Edward looked almost intimidated for half a second.

"Start with Rosalie and work your way around the family." I prompted, wanting to begin with the worst. Edward took a deep, contemplating breath,

"No editing for my feelings Edward." And he exhaled with a whooshing noise.

"Fine Bella. Rosalie thinks that it is 'complete bullshit' that even after you begged for us to kill you for months you got married and have a child. She is furious and doesn't think that you appreciate how truly blessed you are, while she got, for lack of a better word 'shafted.' She also is angry that you are just waltzing back into our lives three years later saying you had my children. She wouldn't believe you if Ean didn't look so much like me. She wants to see if your going to stay around for good, or just came by to show us how well your doing, or to beg for us to change you. She also thought very grudgingly how wonderful having Ean must be, so I think she will warm up to him." I nodded, since I had expected a lot worse from Rosalie. I hoped that I could show her that I am grateful for my humanity, love my son more then anything, and am not going anywhere.

"Jasper?"

"Jasper is happy that you're back because he 'doesn't have to hide from all of the feeling in the house anymore'" Edward looked almost sheepish as he quoted Jasper's mind, " although he still feels guilty about what happened at your birthday, he wants to make it up to you. He thinks that the best way to do exactly what you want him to, start trusting himself, and he wants to do that so he can get to know Ean, and really start acting like family towards you also." I nodded again, not exactly thrilled that Jasper was still upset about my birthday, but happy he's trying.

"Emmett?" Edward smiled,

"If you had stayed inside when Emmett first came downstairs again, I wouldn't have to tell you. He walked into the room and swung Ean up into the air saying 'Well I guess its just going to be me and you making the trouble around here mini-me. We Emmett's gotta stick together.' He's so excited to have you back, and Ean is an added bonus. He's touched that you thought to name your child after him, and glad he has a new playmate, since I haven't really been much of one lately. He also loves you and Ean so much that he doesn't want either of you gone for so long ever again." That was what I really wanted to hear.

"Alice?"

"I'm not sure I have a word for how excited and happy she is. Bella, she missed you more then anything, and wouldn't talk to me for a few months after we left she was so angry. She can't wait to take you shopping and play 'Bella Barbie' either. She also wants to meet Luke, and make sure he takes care of you and Ean. She is completely smitten with Ean, and getting you back is actually making her angry with me again, I don't know if you've noticed, but about 90% of the time she is resisting the urge to punch me because that's how upset she is." I nodded, making a small face because truth be told a lot of the time he was gone I always thought that the first thing I would do when I found him was punch him in the gut.

"Carlisle?"

"Carlisle is very relived and glad that your back, but is curious and worried. Tomorrow he wants to talk to you about your pregnancy and other things, because he finds the entire situation very odd, and of course wants to figure it out. He thinks Ean is a huge blessing though, and wants to get to know him and keep him safe." I smiled, because everything he said reminded me of how fatherly Carlisle was, and how our safety and happiness had always been his number one priority.

"Esme?" I smiled, thinking of how her face had lit up before.

"She believes that what happened today is a mother's perfect dream come true. She is happy because the family had been so hard to keep together these past few years, like we used to be glued together, then you came and welded us together, but when you left, glue just wasn't enough anymore. Now that you're back, she can already see the light our eyes returning. And Ean is already her little angel. She thinks he is the most perfect blend of you and I imaginable, and he is her favorite miracle. She—" he hesitated, like the next part bothered him, or it would bother me,

"Edward, it's okay just tell me." He swallowed, and blinked a few times

"Her happiness at seeing Ean is also equal to her heartbreak over Jesse, Bella when you mentioned two children at first, Esme was beyond ecstatic, and her two grandchildren became number one in her heart already. Having one taken away before you even got to know her reminds Esme of what happened to her, and she is so proud of you for being so strong and so brave." I had never thought that what had happened to my little girl related to Esme, but I realized it did, and the glow she had when Edward brought Ean in became much more meaningful to me. Esme knew exactly how it hurt, and she was still dealing with it. Edward smiled at me,

"Are you happy now that you know my family's inner thoughts Bella?" I shook my head

"No, because you forgot someone." He thought for a fraction of a second before shaking his head,

"No Bella, you know what I think."

"No Edward, that was all from before I found you. Tell me what you really think, what you're really feeling, no editing." He was doing an awful lot of deep breathing lately.

"Bella, I don't think I have the words to describe the kind of emotion seeing you has put in me. Leaving you was the worst mistake of my existence, and I will never get over the guilt and regret of leaving you. I will never get over not being there to support you, and our children, and the shame over missing my daughter's brief appearance on this earth is one that will stay with me the rest of my existence. But walking into that room and seeing you, just as beautiful as I remembered, is a blessing I'm still not sure I deserve. I know how horrible my mistake was, and I know how much I hurt everyone." He grabbed my hand and put it in both of his icy ones.

"This second chance is one I am not willing to mess up, Bella. I want to be there, for you and our son until it isn't possible anymore and longer. And I'm not sure I'm even deserving enough to be here with a woman as wonderful as you. I do still love you Bella, and I always will, but I will never regret leaving you human. I do wish you could be with me forever, but you deserve everything you have now and more, and knowing that this is what eventually happened, my only regret is that I made you suffer before you made it here." He stroked my cheek lovingly, almost exactly the same way he did that first day he walked me to gym class.

"Now it's your turn, since you are the only one I could never figure out. What exactly is going through your head now?" I knew this was coming, but I also knew that I really didn't have an answer.

_Well Edward, I'm actually wondering if I should just kiss you now and apologize to my husband, because my fairy tale ending came back, or if I should break your dead heart into pieces and go back to Luke because the horse and carriage are too late. _That would go over well.

"Edward, I—I don't really know what I'm thinking." I exhaled, dragging my eyes to the floor so this would be easier. "I don't know what to think. I'm confused, and I don't really know where I belong. Is it strange to be in love with two different people, and deathly afraid of making the wrong decision?" Edward put his hand on my cheek again, making me look at him, before shaking his head.

"Bella, you don't need to tell me now. Honestly you don't have to ever. You don't really owe me anything at this point." I looked at him, before finally telling him that I was tired and going to bed.

"Goodnight Edward" I whispered as I stood up and kissed his cheek softly. "I'll figure it out soon, I promise." I went up to his room and went to bed. As I was drifting off to sleep, I could have sworn I heard him open the door and whisper softly

"Sleep well, love."

I really had an awful lot to think about.

**A/N This one is because I had a really good day, and was enthused to come home and write this. Next chapter is Bella's big decision. =D It's a shorter one, but I really love it, so I might post it tonight just because I'm so excited to hear what you all think. But, let me know about this one first. Nothing to to interesting, just some insight into the Cullen family. Also, I changed the summary because of a brain power surge I had. I like switching things up, and who knows, maybe I'm just playing a trick on you. ;)  
**

**As always, special thanks to ****Misti D, ****LoveIsWhatMatters, ****Sobriquet Queen****, ****PeanutCullen****, ****jkmk****, ****kaceekittykat**** (welcome to the story), ****RK13, ****skyangel82, Azn-Grl-Twilight-Fan (also welcome to the story), Musehere, ****and OnlyAtTwilight**** for this chapter, you all keep the writing going.**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 13

I woke up the next morning and knew. Luke, that was my choice. I definitely wanted Edward around, but for Ean, not for me. I loved Edward, and the Cullens, but it was Luke. I couldn't explain my reasoning, it was just a feeling, I was following my heart. Luke made me happy, and I wanted to be with him. I had done exactly what Edward had always wanted, moved on and fallen in love with someone I could grow old with.

I did not feel bad doing that, and even if it was cruel, I knew Edward would never object to something that made me happy, and didn't put my safety in jeopardy. I got up, noticed Ean was still sleeping, and walked downstairs. In a house full of vampires, a baby monitor looks very silly. I had not decided how to tell Edward on purpose, because I knew Alice couldn't control whether or not he was around when she saw it.

I walked into the kitchen, and was greeted with Esme making pancakes and eggs for me and Ean. I asked where Edward was, and was painfully aware of the way her face lit up when I said his name. He was right behind me, and said

"Good morning Bella," before Esme had a chance to respond. I looked up at him, still enjoying his butterscotch eyes, even though I probably about to wipe the beautiful crooked smile right off of his face.

"Can we take a walk or something?" He nodded and was back with my coat before I had finished asking Esme to keep an ear out for Ean.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, but I guessed we were out of vampire hearing range, because Edward looked at me expectantly and said

"So Bella, what do you need to talk about?" He didn't look happy, but he didn't look upset, just curious.

"How do you know I have something to say?" I was a little afraid that I had decided something crucial, and he knew everything.

"With all the time we spent together, I like to think that I still know a few things about you, like when you have something you don't want my family to hear." He smiled slightly, a playful glint in his still beautifully light eyes. I couldn't help it as a smile flitted across my face, but it quickly fell away when I remembered what I was going to have to do now.

"Edward, I've been thinking a lot. And it's not fair for me to string along you or Luke, and I don't even know if you still want to be with me or not, but I just wanted to tell you I'm staying with Luke. I love you Edward, and you know that, but I love Luke too, and he is my husband and he has been a father to Ean since I met him. And I don't want you to be upset Edward, because this is what you wanted. From what your telling me, you left so I would do this. I figured that out, and if you can believe it, I fell in love again _**for**_ _**you. **_I felt like not trying to live and love and be happy was completely disregarding you, and somehow invalidating how much I cared about you. So even though it seems like I'm choosing him over you, it is for you. As screwed up as that seems, but—"

I was cut off by Edward's lips on mine. And to be honest, it was so much more then I had ever thought it had been before. His love was painfully clear to me, and I am sure that the way I kissed him back with more passion then I ever had before made my own love very clear as well. It wasn't long and drawn out, but for all of the emotions poured into that first time our lips had touched in over 3 years, it could have lasted forever and not have been long enough.

One thing that I also knew, was that it was his way of saying goodbye to us. Because even the most articulate man I had ever met could not find the words to express his feelings at really ending our romantic endeavors. It was over before I could even think, but I knew my eyes said it all. Edward held me to his chest as I clung to him for one last time, reveling in the moment.

"I'm sorry Edward." I managed to choke out while tears streamed freely down my face. But as he buried his face in my hair and tightened his hold on me, he whispered

"It was never your fault to begin with."

And I knew then, that it really hadn't been either of our faults, and also that somehow, someday, everything would really be okay.

**A/N I'M SORRY. PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND RETURN TO YOUR KEYBOAEDS QUIETLY. You must try to understand, it's the story, it has a mind of it's own. It's ridiculously short, I'm aware. But I just like to keep my chapters on topic, and I'm so proud of this that I was afraid to add anything else and ruin it. So please, big long reviews about what you think of this chapter, and me, and my story, and on another note, I thought about something Mushere asked me, and in my imaginary world of Bella, Luke and the Cullens, Bella and Luke did discuss more children. But they decided to wait until Ean was older and their lives felt a little more stable before pro-creating. To me, Bella pushed waiting, because she was scared about taking any more big chances right away, with her life just getting comfortable again. **

**Also, this is up so fast because we won our game and school is cancelled for tomorrow, and because I may have re-injured myself, updates may be coming much closer together.**

**As always, special thanks to ****Aerith72****, ****Anna562****(Thank you for all the reviews and welcome to my story!), ****CMGeek****, ****skyangel82****, ****SilverAngel1234****, ****HONVampyreChick****(100 REVIEW.=D), ****Musehere****(I thought about what you said, and I hope I answered your question in the A/N),****Misti D****, ****kaceekittykat****, ****Zynthia****, ****EdwardsCandycane****, and ****RK13**** for reviewing so quickly and getting me really excited about posting this one. Please don't give up on me if this chapter doesn't make you so happy.**

**-Caitlin**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 14

After Edward and I had collected ourselves, we walked back to the house to our son, and our family. I tried to pretend that everything was fine, but I knew that while we were gone Alice had seen it and informed the Cullens of my actions. Edward put on a brave face that would have seemed normal to anyone but the people that knew him best, and unfortunately those were the only people he was surrounded by.

The rest of the day was spent on the extremely large silver slide with Emmett, Ean and Edward, and Alice dragged me away for a miniature game of Bella Barbie, convincing me that the next day she was going to wake me up early to catch up on our shopping. Carlisle had an extra shift at the hospital, and did not return until shortly after Edward and I put Ean to bed. We had been standing together, just watching our baby boy sleep peacefully, when Edward whispered

"Carlisle is home and would like to speak with you." We walked out of the room and Edward showed me to Carlisle's office, then excused himself as soon as Carlisle ushered me in.

"Bella, I was hoping that you could try and remember the medical details of your pregnancy, and anything that has changed medically for you or seems off about Ean." I told him about my pregnancy, how I had worried about the venom, how my stomach had always seemed a little colder then the rest of me, and how until that day in Forks I had managed to not fall so much. I even told him something I had never shared with anyone else before, the doctors had told me at the hospital in Forks that they were relived I had made it through the birth okay, because I blacked out afterwards and I flat lined for a few minutes, they had almost given up when my heart started up slower then before, and it had stayed that pace ever since. I told him about how Ean had never gotten many cuts or scratches even though he managed to find ways to get himself into situations where he should have.

Anything else I could think of, I told Carlisle. He then asked about more pleasant things, when Ean had learned to talk, crawl, walk, eat solid food, little things like that. When he asked about Ean's first tooth, I mentioned that he had been born with teeth, even if they had been very tiny and dull, they had been teeth all the same. Carlisle said he would be doing some research with some old friends to see if there had ever been a case like mine, and I thanked him profusely, because I did still lose sleep worrying about whether or not I would wake up with amber eyes and a baby with a silent heart.

I walked back into Edward's room, and was looking for something to wear to bed when I found my cell phone, turned off in my bag. I realized the mistake of spending two days with my ex-boyfriend and his family while my husband couldn't reach me right as I turned the phone on. I had 12 voicemails, 26 texts and 30 missed calls. These were all from Renee, Luke and even a few from Angela and Charlie. I grabbed my phone and a jacket, and smiled apologetically Alice, Jasper, and Edward, who were sitting in the living room on my way out.

I walked to the very end of the backyard, where Edward had stopped me earlier that day. I hit the speed dial for Luke, and bit my lip nervously, deciding to just go with whatever popped into my head first.

"BELLA!" I knew I was in for it now. "Are you alright? Is Ean okay? What happened, where even are you?" He continued like that, only asking questions in a worried tone, and I felt awful for even thinking of leaving him.

"Luke, stop. I'm fine, Ean's great, and I'm sorry. I forgot that I turned my phone off when I left the hotel. I'm a few hours outside of Atlantic City, at the Cullens house. I had to see them Luke, they deserved to know about Ean." Luke knew the same story everyone else did, but I was still surprised by his next words,

"Well, are they okay with it? Does Edward like Ean? If any of them hurt you, I'll—"

"Luke! I'm fine, their guilty but ecstatic, Edward loves Ean. I'm sorry I took off like I did, but I needed to straighten this all out."

"And how is _that_ going?" Luke said in a way that told me he was smiling, and not angry at all, just worried.

"Well, uh, good, I guess. Everyone is still getting used to it. See, Edward wasn't supposed to be able to have kids, so it's a bit of a shock. But I think Ean and I will be back in a day or two."

"And what's going to happen then?" He had me there.

"I honestly don't know Luke. I think we're just taking it a day at a time for the moment." I paused "So are you trashing the apartment out of boredom?" Luke chuckled, and a smile automatically lit up my face as my heart skipped a beat,

"Well, Bells there might be a new, shorter way to get to the neighbors apartment. I know you're probably busy, so just call me tomorrow, and come home soon. I love you."

"I love you too Luke, and I will, don't worry. Goodnight." I hung up the phone and walked back into the house. Alice and Jasper were by themselves, and Alice told me that Ean had started crying right after I walked out the door.

I walked upstairs and looked into Edward's room, where I saw Edward rocking Ean to sleep, humming my lullaby. He had a smile on his face, and he looked peaceful. I hesitated, before walking in and sitting down on the bed. Edward looked up at me, his smile widening, and I whispered

"I may not be able to read his mind, but I do know he loves you." Edward dropped his eyes back to our son, "I tell him stories about you, mainly about that summer, almost every day. He loved you before he knew how." Edward had gotten up, deciding Ean was out, and put him in his crib.

"I only wish I hadn't missed the beginning of his life, he reminds me of you in so many ways, and having the two of you in my existence, makes it infinitely sweeter." He smiled at me again, and as much as I didn't want it to, my heart skipped a beat. Walking out the door, he turned to me one more time,

"Sleep Bella, dream happy dreams, and I know you don't want to hear it, but you are the only one who has ever touched my heart, and it will always be yours." He wasn't trying to make me feel guilty, in his mind he deserved everything that I said, he was trying to make sure I knew that no matter what my choice was, he was behind me, he would always be there, as long as I wanted him.

"Goodnight Edward," I murmured as he closed the door. I couldn't help but hope desperately that someday, knowing that I did the right thing would be enough, and that I could be okay with it. But, lying in his room that night, I knew that breaking his heart would never feel right.

And if I truly believed I would be able to look back at it without regrets, I was sadly mistaken.

**A/N Not as long as you all deserve, but with the holidays I find myself with some writer's block. I'm truly sorry about the wait, and tried to make this longer several times, but I'm sick of looking at it. So, here it is, please review, motivate me to try harder, and not make you wait a horribly long time between updates. Happy Holidays, also. And that quote at the end from Edward? A slightly longer and different version was in Eclipse, and I love it, so I changed it a little. I hope that Stephanie Meyer doesn't get angry. :)  
**

**Special thanks to the wonderful reviewers of last chapter, ****TwilightSagaObsessive1fan****, ****katezzzz12****, ****Last of the Trifecta****, ****EdwardCullensREALWife****, ****Zynthia****, ****SilverAngel1234****, ****skyangel82****, ****Isabella4ever****, ****EdwardsCandyCane****, ****OnlyAtTwilight****, ****Sobriquet Queen****,****Misti D****, ****PeanutCullen****, ****Musehere****, ****kaceekittykat****, ****RK13**

**You guys really are the greatest. Please don't be too upset with the wimpy update, I'm going to see if I can get anything done tomorrow morning, I'm usually very creative early.**

**-Caitlin**


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N uhh, heyyyyyy guys :)(smiles sheepishly) sooooo, hows it goin? i suppose your all pretty upset with me, for abandoning this. Well, let me try and explain myself. I got really caught up in life, had some major writer's block, and sort of lost myself for a long while. I opened this up today, and realized I should never have stopped writing this. It makes me happy to be in my own world writing this for you guys, and I won't neglect it again until it's over. Expect the updates coming at you hard and fast. We are just getting started. Review, and maybe I'll grovel for forgiveness some more. :) I love my readers:))**

**Disclaimer: blah blah blah, not mine, Stephanie Meyer's characters. (except my boys luke and ean)  
**

Chapter 15

The next day Alice managed to force Ean and I to go shopping. I somehow convinced her to not buy either of us a completely new wardrobe, or a mountain of toys for Ean, until she got a look at our apartment. When I got back, I decided to ask Edward what was going to happen when I went back home the next day. (I had work, and needed to go back to class the day after.) He told me that Carlisle had already found a nearby hospital to transfer too, and that all of the Cullen children had been enrolled at my college.

Esme had found a house about 15 minutes away from Luke and I, and was already decorating it.

"But that is only if it's alright with you" Edward smiled gently, and I might have imagined worry flickering through his features.

"Of course it is! Ean deserves all of his family, and I don't want him to go through life without his father, or the rest of his family." I realized how that sounded to Edward, "And I have missed you all for far too long. I never want the chance to miss any of you again." I added quickly, and was glad I did so, because I spoke just before he had time to make his face indifferent, to hide whatever hurt he had gotten from my previous words. So later that day, I packed up what little belongings Ean and I had with us, and I went to bed, knowing that Edward would have me up early for the drive home.

I was very surprised when I woke up to see some very fast moving scenery by my face. I jumped a little bit, before taking in my surroundings. I was in the Volvo's passenger seat. Edward was on my left smiling, and behind him was our beautiful son, giggling as I looked back at him.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"Ten fifteen. We will we back in just about an hour. I decided to let you sleep, because you looked so tired, and your sleep talking was always the best entertainment." As he smiled his crooked smile at me, chuckling, I turned a shade of red that I probably hadn't seen since his haystack line oh so long ago. What could I have said in my sleep? I knew that when I was confused conscious, whatever I really wanted I said in my sleep, until I figured it out. I was petrified that I had betrayed something I had not yet discovered. But as Edward smiled at me, I could see a sadness deep in his eyes, telling me that whatever I had said in my sleep hadn't changed anything.

The next hour was spent in comfortable silence, with the exception of the toddler talk coming from the backseat and the laughter filling the car each time Ean did something particularly adorable. I made sure that Edward just dropped Ean and I off, and went to settle into the Cullen's new house before he met Luke. I needed to make everything as clear as I could to Luke, so he wouldn't freak out. I rang the doorbell to our apartment, not wanting to get my key out, and was greeted with my husband's smiling face moments later.

He took Ean from my arms and swung him around, "Little D! How's my big boy?" before softly kissing me on the lips. He looked into my eyes, searching for what I knew he would probably find. The uncertainty, the fear, the wildness I could not explain, I knew it was there, and I knew he could see it. But I knew he could also see the love in my eyes, and feel it on my lips. This man, this beautiful man, he was mine, and I needed him to know that I was his too. We carried in our things and set Ean in the playpen with his favorite toys before Luke took my hand and led me to the couch.

"Bells I feel like you have something you need to say, and I want you to say it." I took a deep breath, knowing that if I told him everything, this could all change. He might think I was crazy, he might even leave, try to get Ean taken away. But I knew I had to take that chance, because I loved him and trusted him and didn't want to keep anymore secrets from him.

"Luke I haven't been completely honest with you, and I need to tell you the truth about Edward, his family, and what really happened in Forks."

By the time I finished my story, all the way up to Edward dropping me off, Luke hadn't even moved a muscle, and when he did, he looked incredulous.

"Bells, you have got to be kidding me. I mean, vampires and blood sucking at babies that shouldn't be born?"

"Luke I know it's weird but it is the entire truth. All of it. I don't understand it sometimes either, but I promise you I'm not lying, please believe me." He looked around the room with a contemplative stare, and then back at me.

"All of it? You really got kidnapped by a vampire, Edward really left because he feared for your safety?" I nodded, trying not to tear up thinking about it. He sighed, making the same whooshing noise Edward had made two days ago. Then he chuckled, which surprised me.

"Well Bells, when do I get to meet the family?"


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N Double post to convince my readers to forgive me? :) Thank you Sobriquett, for reminding me why I do this with my first review in months. Once again, my apologies, I hope this makes up for it. More soon, promise.**

**disclaimer: do i own anything except luke and ean? n8.**

Chapter 16

I called Alice right after Luke went to go check on Ean. She said they would be over in ten minutes. When the doorbell rang, I felt sick. I was so afraid of everyone meeting, of them fighting, of this fairytale world falling apart. Luke smiled at me reassuringly, and adjusted Ean in his arms.

I walked to the door, and was overjoyed to see Alice leading the way. She jumped on me as usual, and then took a step back to hold Jasper's hand. Esme and Carlisle were next, and last was Emmett. I was confused, to say the least.

"Rosalie said she didn't want to come," Emmett said apologetically, "Edward will be here in a little while, he wanted to talk to her first."

I led the way into my apartment, and turned around. Luke walked over to me and set Ean down, who immediately ran for Esme, much to her surprise and happiness. I could see that Ean would be a grandma's boy. I grabbed Luke's hand,

"Luke, this is Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme and Emmett. Rosalie couldn't come, and Edward will be here soon." Each of the Cullens stepped forward to shake Luke's hand, and formally introduce themselves.

I broke the awkward silence by looking straight at Carlisle and saying "He knows, I told him everything." This was only a little white lie, the only thing I left out was my conversation with Edward the morning before, and if Luke wasn't suspicious, why worry him? "He's confused though, so I was hoping you could talk to him?"

Luke looked at me with a bit of fear, and Carlisle laughed lightly. "Of course Bella, I would love too." Luke took the hint from the squeeze I gave his hand and asked Carlisle to join him in the living room. Esme joined him after handing Ean to Emmett, who's face lit up when Ean reached his arms.

Alice was bouncing up and down as she looked around the apartment. "Bella, show me everything so I can go shopping tomorrow!"

So Alice and I toured the apartment, I could see her making a mental list the entire time. We left Emmett by the playpen with Ean, and after Alice whispered something to him, Jasper stayed behind too. When we got to Ean's room, at the edge of the apartment, I leaned against the wall and looked at Alice expectantly. She rolled her eyes at me,

"Bella everything is fine. Luke believes Esme and Carlisle, or he will in 33 seconds. Edward will be here in 25 minutes and Jasper will be holding Ean before we leave. It's perfect Bella." I brought my gaze to the floor,

"Not quite, I did still break your brother's heart into a thousand pieces and I think when he gets here he and Luke might actually kill each other. They're both acting like it's no big deal, but I see through that Alice. I feel horrible, putting everyone in this situation, but all I want is the best for Ean. Alice, can you tell if they will get along?" Alice thought for a moment, which is a long, long time for her.

"Bella I haven't seen anything, because neither of them have decided how to react yet. I don't think they will fight though. They both love you too much. And Bella, no one blames you for not picking Edward, it's his own fault for being an idiot and making us leave. You fell in love again, and Luke is good for you, he loves you, he loves Ean, he's been there for you and he will be there for you. I'm just glad we can be in your life again, and be there for Ean." This made me feel somewhat better, so we finished the tour of the apartment and Alice went to Jasper while I walked to the living room to see how Luke was doing.

When I walked in Esme had her purse out, and was showing Luke family pictures from over the years, from a black and white picture of Carlisle and Edward in 1920 to a picture from the 80s with everyone to a picture from Forks, with me in it. Carlisle was explaining how they managed to move around without getting caught, and how they faked papers like birth certificates and passports. Luke was smiling, and he looked amazed.

I sat down next to him and he looked up from the pictures at me,

"It really is true Bella. It's amazing." He didn't look horrified or disgusted, and I could tell he was pretty taken with the Cullens when the rest of the family walked in and he smiled, and started asking them about their adventures. The conversation was easy, stories being traded and my baby being passed around, showing off his new words and tricks, and true to Alice's word, Jasper even held Ean for a few minutes before passing him off to me with a soft smile. It was a big step for Jasper, I knew that, and it meant more to me then he knew.

The doorbell rang again not too much later, and Luke insisted he be the one answer it. As he walked down the hall to go to the front door, I looked around nervously.

"Can someone please listen in and tell me what happens?" I was holding Ean at that point, and while he made silly faces at me I stared at the family before me, looking for any facial expression that might give something away. Alice looked at me a little nervously, and smiled hesitantly.

"No one is fighting Bella, they aren't being hostile, I promise." This made me feel a little better, and when the door opened to Edward and Luke laughing, I couldn't help but give a sigh of relief.

"I could never let her drive, and that truck was a death trap waiting to happen." Edward was smiling as he recalled my big red truck.

"Oh she told me all about the truck! Charlie wouldn't let her bring it down here, and I let her drive us once before I told her I would just pick her up from then on!" They were laughing, at my expense of course, but they were laughing and getting along. I felt like I was in heaven.

"So is it make fun of Bella's driving skills day?" I asked with a smile. They both looked over at me, and I was a little taken aback to see the same look of love on both of their faces when they looked at me, but Edward's was clouded by sadness.

Once again I was painfully aware that I had broken his heart, but maybe, he could be my Edward again, without being _my_ Edward. The rest of the night was perfect, it amazed me how well Luke got along with everyone, especially Edward. Before I knew it I had to put Ean to bed, and it was late enough that Luke and I would have trouble getting up for work in the morning. Luke and I each said goodbye to the Cullens in our own way.

As I was saying goodbye to Alice, I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw Emmett pull Luke to the side and say something that sounded suspiciously like,"If you hurt her, I will personally make sure that you are in much more pain than she is. That's a promise." I might have also noticed Alice smile comically at me and Edward's fist clench ever so slightly in agreement.

Luke played it off like a champion though, I missed his response but it apparently calmed Emmett, who went back to his normal demeanor. I heard Ean crying, and Luke said he would get it and I could show our guests out.

The rest of the Cullens, with the exception of Edward, were already in the hallway, which I know Luke noticed. As Luke walked away, Alice decided to tell Edward they would meet him at home since he ran here. Once she walked away, I tried to put my feelings into words,

"Thank you Edward. Even if you hate him, even if it was all an act, thank you. Tell everyone thank you from Ean, and more importantly from me. It means so much that you and Alice and everyone can get along with Luke. Tell them," I had gotten a little scattered while talking, and I finally raised my gaze from the floor to those beautiful eyes, honey colored today, and finished much more quietly, "thank you." Edward stared at me, with a look from back when he tried to read my mind everyday without fail, and brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, replied so softly I almost didn't hear it.

"Anything for you, love." Then he turned around and walked out the door, closing it quietly.

I walked into my room, changed and got into bed, waiting for Luke. He took off his shirt and got into bed, wrapping his arms around me.

"Bells," he began, "I saw the way he looked at you." I was scared, Luke's embrace was warm, but his tone was something I had never heard. "I think we both need to think about a lot of things tonight, and in the morning, we need to talk."

A cold dread clutched my heart as he kissed my forehead and rolled over, turning off the light and leaving us in darkness.


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N Look! I'm here! Only a few days later! I promised I'd be better :) I'm actually sick right now, so that's why I can do this right now, I'm not going to school tomorrow, I've already got the next chapter on lock, just need some reviews to make that post button look a little inviting ;)**

**Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)**

Chapter 17

That night was, thankfully, dreamless. It would have been the moment for my dreams to resurface. Thinking back on it, my nightmares hadn't returned when I was staying with the Cullens, but maybe that was normal, because I had the very thing that had caused the nightmares in the first place. Still, though, my sleep was shallow and not very peaceful.

I woke up early the next morning and not because of Ean, for once he was out like a light. I took a quick shower, dreading what was coming. Luke was already out of bed, and neither of us had work for a few hours. Part time jobs at the mall weren't ideal, not by a long shot, but the little book store I worked in felt like a second home, and we were making ends meet while getting through college, so it was all we needed.

I walked into the kitchen and Luke was sitting at the table, staring at a cup of coffee like it would answer his questions. I grabbed some cereal, (I had never been the coffee kind of girl) and sat down across from him. We ate in silence, and after I had started cleaning the dishes he finally acknowledged me.

"Ready to talk to me Bella?" I knew it was serious; he only used Bella when he was worried or upset. It was always Bells, because of that silly musical we watched together once. It talked about finally hearing the birds and the bells because the characters fell in love. He told me I was the bells he heard ringing, and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Cheesy, I know, but you had to see his eyes when he said it. I think that was when I really let my walls down, when I saw that look in his eyes that I had only seen one other place before. I snapped out of my flashback, and nodded solemnly at him.

"Luke, I was going to tell you after you met everyone—"

"Bella." He cut me off, letting me know he was going to say what he needed to say.

"I always knew you had a soft spot for him in your heart, I did. But meeting his family, and learning the whole truth yesterday, I knew you two had even more than you had told me. When Esme showed me those pictures, I saw his eyes. In every picture he seemed alive, but not really there. Until she showed me the one in Forks, of everyone with you. Bella, he had his arms around you and in his eyes I saw the happiest man on earth. The look on his face, and yours, told me everything. I thought maybe it had just been a thing back when you were seventeen, but then I met him. When I answered the door, the first thing he said to me was

'I don't like you and you don't like me, but, Bella loves you so we're going to get along. For her, and for Ean.' He looked at me with a fierce determination, until he said your name. Then his face softened and he looked like a broken man in that moment. He kept talking though,

'Thank you, for taking care of Bella and for being a better father to my son than I will ever be.'"

I couldn't believe how much about Edward he had noticed. I could believe that Edward was blaming himself for not being there, and almost using it as an excuse to kick up the self loathing a notch. Luke looked at me, and for once, his face was unreadable, the way Edward would get when something bad was about to happen.

"Bella, I can't, no I won't, stand in the way of the two of you being together, and being the family Ean should have had in the first place. I won't be the other man in your life, or in Ean's life." I couldn't take it anymore, I was so angry about everyone trying to be noble. I stood up from the table, my eyes tearing up I was so angry.

"_He_ said the same thing you know! He said he wouldn't stand in the way of my happiness. That's what he said when he left me alone, hurt and pregnant. He wanted me to be _happy_. He offered again, you know, when I found him this weekend. He said he would leave, and make sure he never bothered me again, just like you are now. It's honestly like neither of you want me! Luke, I told him two days ago that I love him," Luke opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't stop there,

"I told him that I love him, but I am_ in_ love with you. I picked you, because it was never even a choice. I am in love with you Masen Lucas Andrews. Edward will always have a special place in my heart, he was my first love, and is the father of my children. I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't love you, or if I didn't want you to be the father of the rest of my children. So please, just man up and fight for me. I'm sick and tired of everyone trying to make me happy. Make _yourself_ happy, Luke. If you want to leave, get out. But know that before you get out the door I'll be fighting for you to come back. You're mine, and I hope that I'm yours too."

I had started out screaming, but by the end I was whispering, trying to keep my voice steady. It really made me sick, the way everyone thought walking out of my life without a fight was okay. Like I was some coldhearted bitch, who didn't bat an eye whenever someone left. The anger from Edward leaving, that I had always thought was behind me, had come back with a fury I hadn't felt before.

"And what about Ean? What about when he's a teenager, and just wants you and me to leave because of some awful fight. Will you just walk away, Luke, to make him _happy_?"

Edward left, Charlie got rid of me, Alice offered to leave again, so did Edward, and now Luke wanted to walk out. Everyone was trying to save me when I can save myself. Yes, people had left and it had hurt, but eventually I had recovered. It was coming to the point that I was tempted to tell Luke, Edward, and everyone else to leave until they felt the need to stay. Having a life filled with people who will walk away for your happiness feels like no one cares enough in the first place to be there at all.

I wouldn't leave if Luke, Edward, or anyone else I cared about told me to leave, so why was everyone else so willing to step out?

"I love you Luke, and I will fight for you the way no one has thought to fight for me, because that's how much I love you. If you don't love me like that, maybe we do need to talk."

At that point, I was shaking, looking him straight in the eyes, with tears pouring down my face. Then I heard Ean crying.

"I'm going to go take care of my son, and you can come help when you can decide if you want him to be yours too." I turned away, and a second later there were arms around me.

"Bells, I will fight for you forever. You are my life, and so is my son." His voice was cracking; I knew I had finally gotten through to him as I wrapped my arms around him. Ean was still crying though, so I drew back and grabbed his hand, kissing him once softly, as we walked towards our son's room.

What I didn't find out until later was that someone was standing outside my door, with something very important to tell me.

As he walked away, forgetting what he had to tell me in the first place, eyes filling, for once, with tears that couldn't fall, he had never wished for a second chance anymore in his entire existence.


End file.
